Counting it all loss...
But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.
Philippians 3:7-11
To be completely honest...I have sacrificed very little in my short lifetime.
I have been blessed with an incredible, godly family...
that showered me with love and blessings growing up.
I was surrounded by godly mentors and wise counsel at every crossroad of my life.
I have had pain and disappointment and suffering...but at a very minimum in comparison to others.
And sacrifice...at one point I would have easily pointed to this situation or that to show how much I had "sacrificed" for the Lord...but honestly...it is not much.
And truth be told...I am not sure that I counted it as rubbish...counted it as loss...counted the value of knowing Christ higher than that which I was sacrificing.
I probably prided myself on the very act of sacrifice...and in doing so...missed the true blessing of sacrifice.
This past year was different.
2012 was truly a year that I counted it all loss.
Not to say I lost everything...on the contrary...I gained everything.
And looking back over the year...I can not help but be overwhelmed...not with what was sacrificed...but with what was poured out to us in the midst of sacrifice.
And I think that is where the difference lies...not in what is sacrificed or how much...but the heart behind the sacrifice.
When what is at stake is the surpassing knowledge of Christ...the item on the altar does tend to look a bit like rubbish...unimportant...empty.
The beginning of 2012 found me desperately hanging on.
Hanging onto my position in ministry.
Hanging onto certain relationships and friendships.
Hanging onto financial stability.
Hanging onto the trappings of this world.
But as the year began to unfold...the desire to be "found in Christ...not having any righteousness of my own" began to overshadow any thought of sacrifice.
And instead of seeing it as a great loss...or disadvantage...or void...it became almost natural to lay it all down.
To count it all loss.
Big or small...whatever it may be...some things so silly you would laugh to hear them...but truly laying it all down.
And surprisingly, looking back over this past year...I am overwhelmed...not with what was sacrificed...but with how my God chose to pour out His blessings upon us.
Time after time God overflowed our cup...scattering our doubts and fears...steadying our unsteady faith.
And while it is true...I have not suffered the loss of ALL things...my heart is satisfied with the pearl of great price.
Knowing that whatever it is that needs to be laid down will only ever be repaid with an intimacy so sweet has righted my skewed thinking on sacrifice.
No longer do I attribute sacrifice as a measure of my own righteousness...but an acknowledgement of the lack thereof.
I cannot say what this new year will hold.
Thankfully, I cannot see what is beyond the bend...only what is right here in front of me.
But with confidence...humility...and gratitude...I will continue to count it all loss...for the sake of Christ.
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