On being your mom...
There was nothing in life to truly prepare me for the journey of motherhood.
No matter how many times I watched my younger brother...how many babysitting jobs I had accomplished...or Red-cross and CPR courses I completed...nothing compared to those first tentative steps of parenthood.
Your fragile threads of life hinging on my ability to nourish, protect, shelter, love and cherish.
Responsibility in it's greatest most selfless form took on new meaning.
The simplest of tasks seemed monumental.
Even picking out the right laundry detergent seemed daunting.
I soon got lost in the flurry of what I deemed "good parenting".
Based on everything that I could see on the outside.
Everything I thought I could "control".
Everything on me.
But beyond the most basic of your needs there emerged the more important,
larger vacuum of life waiting to be filled.
One that I couldn't fill with hugs or kisses...or words of encouragement.
One that couldn't be controlled with discipline.
One that had nothing to do with me.
More than good behavior, a great education, or appeasing appearances...
there is an even greater task at hand.
For within each of you, my precious children, there is an intrinsic desire to be at one with your Maker.
To find lasting purpose and meaning in this shallow, shadow of a world.
Securing your eternal destiny and future hope.
It is this need that redefined my role as "mother".
Although your choice is yours alone...
the task of shepherding and nurturing that choice became my greatest goal.
Demanding of me to truly "live" Christ out even in my darkest hours.
Your little eyes and ears watching and waiting...
to see how this "Christian" woman would handle real life.
In moments of frustration, moments of doubt, moments of fear,
and moments of anxiety...how did I respond?
Did I rightly divide the Word of Truth?
Did I set apart Christ as Lord in my heart...giving an answer for the reason for the hope that I have?
Did I display the joy that is found in walking with my Savior?
Well, sweet ones, the journey is far from over.
I am a work of God's faithfulness in progress.
There have been many failures and opportunities to offer your sweet forgiveness.
But the joy of being your mom has brought me so much deeper into the heart of my Savior.
The responsibility and honor of having four treasures...has increased my understanding of grace.
And there is no greater thing than to see my children walk in TRUTH.
To watch the seedlings of His Word spring forth and produce fruit in your life is His blessing in action.
To know that His Spirit is in you - guiding you, teaching you, comforting you, leading you...is peace in it's sweetest form.
I am so blessed and humbled and honored to be your mom! :-)
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